Handling jealousy in an open relationship

Do you remember all those images of the 1960’s, where sexual liberation was rife and people practiced free-love? These days people tend to refer to it as an ‘open relationship’, so the practice is far from dying. However the idea of sharing partners, or having your partner being with someone else can be too much to deal with; which is probably why there are only so many people who can actually handle that approach to coupling. It won’t take very long for feelings of jealousy to settle in; so how does one come to peace with such an ambiguous concept?

Sharing is caring?

You’ve most likely heard that saying before, but it mainly seems to apply to sharing money, food or other items with your friends. It can also apply to charity, where you pass along things that other people cannot afford. What most people don’t expect is for it to be relevant to sharing their actual partner. Let’s say your best friend hasn’t been getting laid in a while, would you be so generous as to suggest them they can have fun with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Most importantly, would your partner be up for it? It seems that for this to work, both partners have to be on the same page.

A mutual agreement

No one likes to be cheated on, but what if this is something you’ve discussed and agreed on? After all it is true that people can get bored of each other over time, and spicing things up can bring some life back into a relationship. It comes down to this, can you accept that someone else could give pleasure to your partner and have a good time with them, all the while not losing the love and respect your partner has for you. In other words, can you sleep around with other people and come back to your relationship afterwards? As long as you set some rules and boundaries, it could actually work.

Finding new partners

It seems that the key to having an open relationship is to make sure that you or your partner discuss what happens if you fall in love with your other lovers. So if you decide to have fun, maybe you should do it with people you don’t know so well; as opposed to getting your close friends involved. That way you will limit the amount of emotional involvement; and you will also keep your friendships intact. Ideally you will meet new potential partners when you go on a night out, or even approach people by using adult dating websites. You can find horny women near you, or even horny men, all it generally takes is to find the right site. This will all help to keep your fun at a casual level.

Still feeling jealousy?

Some people love to see their partner having fun with someone else, there is just something about it that makes us tick. It really depends on whether you are able to draw a line between your private emotional life and your sex life. If you trust your partner and you know they will stick with you, then you might not have to feel so jealous. Even though they are taking pleasure from someone else, you are still involved in the act so you are still part of the reason why your partner is having such good time. It is different from someone having an affair, where your partner would actually be getting pleasure behind your back without your involvement. You would therefore have good reasons to feel jealous, but in the case of sharing and doing it all out of your own free will; you can stay in control of it all. Let’s face it, couples could eventually get bored, so whilst you might not consider an open relationship just yet, maybe it will be a good thing to look into further down the line!

 

Elust #48 Photo courtesy of  It Girl Rag Doll  Photo courtesy of  It Girl Rag Doll

Welcome to Elust #48

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust.  Want to be included in Elust #49? Start with the newly updated rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

 

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

 

A Submissive’s Day

An Open Letter to Modern Female Feminists

Rape Porn: Rapists by Proxy?

 

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Innocent Dark and the Sweet Talk of the Storm

 

~ Readers Choice from  Sexbytes ~

Sex Toy Stories: Fifty Shades of Pink

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Non-Fiction

I’m fucking you, whether you’re wet or not.
Positions Filled
Second Wind
Snippets of bambi
Sir Knows Best
A Taste of Rub & Tug
Feels Like the 6th Time
Call of the Wild
Falling Violently in Lust with Suzanne
Submitting to His Will
Venus’ Orgasm
You don’t hit me hard enough spanking
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Swingers club, group sex & a queue of men

Poetry

Jitterbug
XYZ Me

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Description of my orgasm(s)
Casual Dating
Mormon Sex Symbols

Blogging

The Big Ugly Self Portrait Challenge
Blogger is dumping adult bloggers; what now?

Erotic Fiction

Perfect Spring Day
Damp
Lolita Twenty-Thirteen, Part Six
Hook-Up
Lights Out
I Am Watching
Wicked Wednesday: Karma

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

There is No Smiling in S&M – Usually
Break the boxes
Your Guide To The Perfect Sex Toy!
Age Inappropriate

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

Ass Worship: Errant Oral & a Brave Submissive
Tell Me You Want Me.
Embracing My Strap-On
Talking About Kinks & Fetishes With Vanillas
Thoughts: Age and BDSM

Writing about Writing

Flat-chested Heroines


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We don’t usually address these issues here on e[lust] but we felt that this was of special importance to our sex blogging community.

As you might have heard by now Blogger has it in for Adult bloggers. You may have received an email that looks like this.

Important Update to Adult Content Policy on Blogger

You are receiving this message because you are the admin of a blog hosted on Blogger which is identified to have Adult content.

Please be advised that on June 30th 2013, we will be updating our Content Policy to strictly prohibit the monetization of Adult content on Blogger. After June 30th 2013, we will be enforcing this policy and will remove blogs which are adult in nature and are displaying advertisements to adult websites.

If your adult blog currently has advertisements which are adult in nature, you should remove them as soon as possible as to avoid any potential Terms of Service violation and/or content removals.

Sincerely,
The Blogger Team

Even if you haven’t received this email you are not off the hook, as I suspect you soon will.

This is a wakeup call; it is time to move your blog to self-hosting if you have adult content of any type. *Even if you are on WordPress.com, rumor has it that they are deleting blogs too.

It is not hard, nor is it very expensive.

You need three things

  1. A Domain Name
  2. Domain Privacy
  3. A Hosting Company

 

Step 1: Export all of your content from Blogger. Do this NOW! Do not do any of the other steps. I’ll wait. Blogger Export Instructions!
Do this even if you are not going to self-host, or think you are safe. This is your content; grab it now before anything bad happens.

Step 2: Go to Who is and see if the domain name you want is available. I do not recommend that you buy a .co.uk address as it has privacy issues (message me if you need this explained further), ALWAYS buy a .com address if you can.

Step 3: Choose a hosting company. Read their Terms of Service very carefully about adult content. Do NOT choose GoDaddy

Step 4: Purchase your domain name. You can do this from whoever you like however please be sure that they offer domain privacy or you might find your name and address visible on the web for all to see. As a best practice I suggest buying it from the same people you are going to buy your hosting from. It just makes things simpler later. *If you have already purchased your domain name for use with your Blogger/Wordpress.com site this makes things a little more complicated. Contact me directly for more information.

Step 5: Buy your hosting, again please be sure to VERY carefully read their Terms of Service for Adult content. (I am a big fan of Hostgator  I’d suggest the “baby package”)

Step 6: Install your blogging software of choice on your new host, I find that the WordPress software works extremely well, but it is not the only choice. On most hosting packages they have a very simple wizard to walk you through doing this.

Step 7: Import the file from your old site and choose a new theme and design for your blog

Step 8: Extend your right arm out horizontally from your body with your palm up and fingers clenched, slowly raise your middle finger and say “FO Google”

For more information (or to hire me to help) contact me @domsigns on twitter or visit my site Subtle Mark

 

 

 

Elust #35 Photo Courtesy of Vincent and Mia
Photo Courtesy of Vincent and Mia

Welcome to Elust #35

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust.  Want to be included in Elust #36? Start with the newly updated rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Strangers in a barShe sensed him move along the bar, he took the seat next to her his knee brushing her thin stockings as he took in her dress and the way it waved over her curvaceous figure.

Dealing with Abuse in Our CommunitiesWe’re only human (yes, dominants ARE human) and mistakes happen. But what you do with the information that you’ve harmed someone is key.

Special RequestWalking to his desk, he pulled off his belt and put it on the left side, then pulled out a paddle and put it in the middle and then a cane on the right hand side.

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

What Keeps Us GoingWe co-existed, and we were generally happy with each other, but we were dysfunctional. You know how people talk about becoming roommates rather than lovers? Guilty.

~ Elust Editress ~

Sex Toy Journalism: Seeking the Truths of Silicone via Flame Testing and Confronting ManufacturersWhy flame test? “Pure” silicone, be it food grade or medical grade, shouldn’t melt or deform under the heat of an open flame from a disposable lighter or match – a fact you’ll see demonstrated in the video

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Comparisons Part Three
Cosmic Vibrations
Momentum: Reflections and Impressions
My Feminine Fountain is Finally Flowing (I squirted for the 1st time!)
PolyAnna’s Musings: Attraction
Q&A Number 1: Play Partners
Sexual Bucket List (and a Brief Diatribe on My Self Censorship Hang Up)
The “Dry Rut/Root”! Non-sex?
Intolerance – Contraception Debate, Religious Intolerance, & Grumpy Cooper

Erotic Writing

Come Together
Encounter in the Spa
Flame
Good Bad Sex
I needed him there and then
inside
Make Me Cum
Namaste
Onomatopoeia
Play Lady Play
Quitting While Ahead
Rampage – YSL’s birthday treats
sleep
the Confidante and I film ourselves
third
The first time I slept with the Girl in the Red Dress
Timing Is Everything
We drink each other’s cum

Kink & Fetish

Assignment from M
Buttons
Cigars
Fucked Raw
Foot fetishists, come talk to me
Imprints
Make Me
Nice vs. Good
On “Closure.”
Practicing My Religion
Please Fuck Me
Snap

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Annie fucking Sprinkle
Voice and the Author

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